Download 5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker PDF

By Grant Tucker

Whether instructed within the rugby golf equipment of Wales or the gentlemen's golf equipment of London, their sharpness and straightforwardness unites us all. brief, candy and wickedly shrewdpermanent, they carry a different position within the annals of comedy, and because the upward push of Twitter heralds a resurrection of the paintings shape, there turns out no higher time to have a good time the immortal one-liner. during this e-book, furnish Tucker does simply that, bringing jointly 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever advised in a single definitive quantity. Laugh-out-loud humorous, 5,000 nice One-Liners has all of the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you will ever want – and a complete lot extra.

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Apparently ‘I do’ is not the correct answer. ’ Abortion: it really brings out the child in you. ’ ‘Oh wow, that’s terrible. ’ I saw a kid earlier with a hairy face and horrible beady eyes. Saying that, I suppose it’s normal for a goat. My granddad suffers from Alzheimer’s. It’s his birthday next week, so I’ve bought him a memory card. Can anyone tell me what concise means? Please be short, brief and to the point. ’ I have two brothers. Well, three actually, but one has learning difficulties so he can’t count.

Me and the wife tried swinging. But she just sat on her fat arse and I ended up doing all the pushing. I hate the fact that I’m not allowed to celebrate St George’s Day. Since magic mushrooms have been illegal I can never find any dragons to kill. Hey kids, why don’t you try a new social networking tool? It’s called ‘outside’. My nephew just called me to say that he got over 100 per cent in seventeen of his GCSEs. The only one he failed was maths. As my late father always said, get a decent watch.

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. You know that look you get from women when they want you? Nah, me neither. So Apple are making an announcement tonight. Maybe they’re going to merge with Blackberry and launch their new ‘Crumble’. I think the highlight of my life was climbing Mount Everest. It was all downhill from there. Women bake cookies. Men delete them. I asked my girlfriend to record something for me on ITV2+1. She recorded ITV3.

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